WHEN I first saw footage of U2 performing in that enormous new electrical dome in Las Vegas, my mind was blown.
I’ve always loved big sound-and-light events.
A version of the Las Vegas Sphere could have brought visitors – and fun – to London but Sadiq Khan said no[/caption]
London Mayor Khan said it would cause too much light pollution. Really? In London. Is he mad?[/caption]
The Who at Wembley in 1979. That was so big, the air traffic controllers at Heathrow forced them to shut the lasers down.
Then, in the same year, there was Led Zep and Jimmy Page, who played his guitar with a violin bow, engulfed by tetrahedrons of light.
These things made me run round in circles, squeaking and clutching my tinkle.
That’s why I was so excited by the new dome. I’m not an especially big fan of U2 and I actively dislike Las Vegas, but I decided immediately that I needed to get on a plane and go there. To experience it.
For all sorts of pig and cow-based reasons, that never happened. But it wasn’t the end of the world because I heard a rumour they were going to build another dome — in London.
Brilliant, I thought.
Sadly, however, the mayor of this once great city, Sadiq Khan, thought differently.
He said it would cause too much light pollution. Really? In London. Is he mad?
‘Bugger off’
And he said it would need too much electricity.
He actually sat there, in his air-conditioned, fully lit goldfish bowl of an office on the banks of the Thames, in a city where the birds sing at night because it’s so bright, and said that.
“Hello, Mr Khan. We’d like to invest in your city and bring millions of visitors from all around the world, which would be great news for London’s hotels, bars and restaurants.”
“Bugger off!”
If some local busybody moaned about light pollution and mental health issues in the community, I’d have put my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly till they shut up
If I had been running the council in Leeds, or Newcastle or Cardiff, I’d have been on the phone in a shot.
I’d have seen how much business such an attraction would bring to the area and done everything in my power to make it happen.
And if some local busybody moaned about light pollution and mental health issues in the community, I’d have put my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly till they shut up.
But no other council, so far as I’m aware, did step forward. The biggest levelling-up opportunity since the industrial revolution — and no one did a damn thing.
The Tories, who were in power at the time, tried to overrule the deranged Mayor of London, but it was too late. The company behind the idea pulled out, saying they didn’t want to be a political football.
So now it’s been announced the new dome will be built in Abu Dhabi.
This is becoming an enormous problem in the UK. Tiny, jumped-up regional politicians have far too much power.
You would love to have a snazzy new concert venue in your area. Your kids would, too. Everyone would.
But then along come the light pollution, Net Zero Nazis and the idea is squashed.
And now, everyone who wants to experience this amazing venue will have to get on an A380 and endure a seven-hour flight to the UAE.
So stick that in your Net Zero pipe and smoke it.
Eye eye sir! General Sir Mike born to command
General Sir Mike Jackson, who sadly died this week, was always going to be a soldier, and he was always going to rise to the very top[/caption]
IT can be argued that people get a job to suit their face.
Barry Gibb was always going to be a disco king.
Marlon Brando was always going to be a film star. And Carlos Sainz was always going to be a racing driver.
But the man whose face most suited his job was General Sir Mike Jackson, who sadly died this week.
With eyes that steely, and crags that deep, he was always going to be a soldier, and he was always going to rise to the very top.
You’d trust him completely and accept his orders without question.
Whereas with someone like Cole Palmer, you probably wouldn’t.
Seems London is dying
A walk back from the Tube to his flat past a cannibalised Porsche and boarded up shops in one of the most expensive streets, convinced Jeremy that London is dying[/caption]
ON a Tube train journey in London this week, I overheard a woman saying to her friend that her flat had been burgled and all the family passports stolen.
Later, I saw a Porsche with both of the nearside doors missing.
And then I noticed that in one of the most expensive streets in West London’s Notting Hill, half the shops are now boarded up.
I then walked back to my flat and, for the first time ever, felt slightly threatened.
I also felt slightly squiffy. The smell of weed was overpowering everywhere.
I dunno. It felt to me like London is dying.
AN Army veteran has been fined and given a community service order for standing in the street and saying a silent prayer.
Let’s not concern ourselves with what he was thinking or why he chose that spot.
In a free country, he has been criminalised for his thoughts.
Give me a break
How much do the Italians owe Brits for the distress of invading us in AD43, and the French for then doing much the same thing in 1066?[/caption]
SO, Barbados is demanding £5,700,000 trillion billion pounds from the UK for all the hurt and distress caused by British colonialism.
OK, so let’s kick the ball down the road and demand a similar sum from the Italians for invading us in AD43, and the French for then doing much the same thing in 1066.
Oh, and let’s have a couple of trillion from the Norwegians for all that pillagey Viking nonsense, as well.
In the meantime, I shall stop taking holidays in Barbados.
Which, if my last bar bill is anything to go by, will cost them more than they stand to gain.
Oven a laugh, surely
Unlike the rest of us, the government can burn as much wood as they like[/caption]
I’M sure many pensioners worried about the cost of heating their homes this winter will be thinking about maybe getting a wood-burning stove.
Tricky. There’s all sorts of legislation about burning stuff these days and, as far as I can tell, all you’re allowed to put in there is a damp dishcloth.
It’s different for the Government, though. They can burn as much wood as they like.
The Drax power station in Yorkshire, for example, used to burn gas.
But then along came the Net Zero movement, which insisted it be turned into a giant wood-burning stove.
Thousands of trees a week are felled in America and the wood pellets that result are shipped in vast diesel-powered ships to the UK, where they are thrown into the furnaces.
And the result? Well, it’s not good, especially if you’re a tree.
And it’s not much better for us. Every megawatt hour of power produced by Drax today costs £138, compared to £80 when it ran on gas.
So, there you are. You can’t afford to buy electricity made from wood and you aren’t allowed to burn it as an alternative.
Welcome to a world of joined-up thinking.
Bit less horny, please
NEW research shows that Gen Z and Millennial drivers are by far the most likely to sound their car horns in a moment of rage.
A whopping 63 per cent say they do it, compared to just 42 per cent of those aged 70 and above.
Me? Well, I can safely say I’ve never used my horn in anger.
Why would you? If there’s an emergency, using the brakes or the steering wheel seems like the better option.
Everyone would be advised to remember this. The horn is not for signalling your displeasure. It’s there to let cyclists know you’re overtaking them.
