The season of carved pumpkins, decaying zombies, and blood-sucking vampires has arrived. Yet, the scariest thing you’ll see on a night out this spooky season is the sheer number of walking red flags crowding West Street’s clubs. Every year, the same costumes make their appearance, and no matter how repetitive, these lads hope it’ll help them seal the deal when shooting their shot this Halloween. From sunglasses to jumpsuits, they’ll promise girls a date the next morning – but quickly forget by the next day.
With the option to dress as whoever or whatever you want, somehow, university fuck boys always manage to pick from the same predictable costumes for a night out in Sheffield. Whether you’re trying to avoid them or figure out what not to wear this year, here’s the definitive guide to the costumes that scream, “I only want you for one thing.”
Prisoner
Nothing looks quite as desperate as a lad dressed as a prisoner on Halloween. Instead of relying on charm and persuasion, a university fuck boy will throw on his trusty orange jumpsuit, paint on a bloody scar, and call it a day. His goal? To find someone dressed as a police officer and insist on being cuffed together for the night. This old-school tactic requires minimal effort but maximises his chances of pulling by latching onto someone with plastic handcuffs, hoping it eventually leads to an invite back. Expect to spot this classic costume multiple times on West Street.
Cowboy
If you’re lucky, you won’t come across a cowboy this Halloweekend. Usual suspects for this cliché include gym bros wearing tight checkered shirts to flex all night or boys going for the rustic, “manly” look to attract the female gaze. His attempt to get your attention will lead you to his cowboy hat on his head and some terrible chat about his degree in finance. Success in this costume includes making “cowgirl” jokes all night and dancing to indie music in the center of Molly Malone’s. So, if you see a cowboy out, don’t fall for the Matthew McConaughey phony, or you’ll risk getting “R U up?” texts for the rest of the semester, but never full commitment.
American Psycho
At first, a fuck boy dressed as Patrick Bateman may seem original and cool; however, this niche approach aims to attract those with “daddy issues” or horror film superfans looking to recreate their homicidal fantasies. This tactic of seeming mysterious and dangerous, with a black suit and blood-splattered face, will always be a way to feed their huge egos and “seem different.” But, they’re usually the same boys who will unironically drink Skibidi Rizz Bombs at West Street Live every weekend and end up on TikTok street interviews answering, “What can you buy with your body count?”
The ‘I’m too cool for this’
There’s always one. No matter how much his friends encourage him to join in, this fuck boy will purposely make minimal effort by throwing on a black shirt, trousers, and some coloured contact lenses. This lazy approach keeps him in group photos but also allows him to judge those who actually put effort into their costumes. At pres, he’s texting ten different girls to meet him outside Viper Rooms but really only wants to get back with his ex. As the night goes on, he’ll buy you a £5 round to distract you from his boring chat, which he’ll start with “What course do you do?” and “Are you at uni of?” After too many quad vods, his eyes start to hurt from the contacts, and he’ll leave with just cheesy chips to join him in bed.
Football/Rugby Player
It’s inevitable you’ll see a few boys wearing their football or rugby kits this Halloween. And what makes them fuck boys? These boys are usually part of a society and are the same ones who’ll try to get with you on a Wednesday night, only to ignore you in the library the next day. If he’s not boasting about his “mad skills” on the pitch, he’ll be oversharing about how he could’ve gone pro but had a typical “knee injury,” so he decided to come to university to study business instead. The scare factor of this costume is limited, and so is his IQ. But usually, this outfit works, and the girls flock to a man who plays a sport.
Army
What do girls love more than a man in uniform? If it’s not the camo print and black shades, it’s him trying to recreate the “Top Gun” effect under Tiger Works’ LED lights. In this costume, he knows he looks good and will ensure to take many thirst traps before leaving. Despite the lack of horror in his outfit, he’ll achieve 100 per cent approval from almost everyone and use the photos taken at pres for his Hinge profile. He most likely studies business or politics and will add you on Instagram, but he’ll never reply to your DMs.
The Lifeguard
If you don’t see him first, you’ll hear, “Who needs mouth-to-mouth?” in Tropicana’s smoking area. This fuck boy shows up in bright red shorts, a whistle around his neck, and maybe some leftover powder under his nose. He’ll use Halloween as an excuse to flash his abs and find his damsel in distress, whilst attempting to do Baywatch-style runs across the dance floor. After telling people he’s “too busy for a relationship” because he’s “saving lives,” he’ll add you on snapchat but conveniently forgets to add you back. And the next time you see him out? He definitely won’t remember you.
